you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
