Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm too high and old for this...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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