after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
