I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
