just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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