she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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