he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
