There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
