Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I need moral support for this bender
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I lost the right to judge tonight
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
