i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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