six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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