5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
