Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
