you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
