these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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