there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
