You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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