found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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