Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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