no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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