I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
