And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
