accomplished twins. life is a go
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
