I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
