You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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