3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
