i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
