i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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