Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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