imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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