He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
