i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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