'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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