i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
