Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
