Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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