I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Enjoy the penises
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
