i don't like sucking hair
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
