I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
