So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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