The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
