I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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