I'm jealous of your bromance
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
