She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
