dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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