Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
