Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sorry about my life...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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