worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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