Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
