he looks like a really good dad on facebook
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
