i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
